This I Have Now

Tomorrow my journey to Lefke begins
Leaving a cooling orange England
Bound for a summer garden am I
Did I really say "Yes, I'm ready" all those months ago?
This flying time I'm in
The journey begins tomorrow, a real heart-to-heart
And this I have now, is not imagination
That will come and go
In the now, this is the presence
That doesn't

Friendship Weekend

I spent some sacred time with two special friends over the past two days. She is just great company. We travelled by car to the Rumi event up North. It was so light and enjoyable, just what I needed after a hectic day. As with all of Rumi's messages, we heard what was needed to be heard just at the right time. Rumi only speaks to our hearts - he is the poet, mystic, teacher, healer -----and revered saint of the Sufi path.
My other friend, he is great company too. He travelled over to here from the other side of the country so that we could spend some time together. We had so much catching up to do, not having seen each other since the end of year summer retreat. The river walk in the late afternoon autumn sunshine was wonderful. My friend is such a gentle man. In the evening I cooked us some eastern dishes and he asked if it was ok to say 'grace' before we began our meal. We talked and listened and tired each other out. We laughed about life, drank some beer, talked about the heart and shared our most memorable moments of the past year on the course. What a weekend!

Rumi said "Say I Am You"

This day has been a relating day. We came together this morning to meditate and reflect on the big issue of life, that is, relationship. Our time together began with some moments of sacred silence in this growing circle of connection. Somehow a tiny pair of sycamore seeds, joined in an arc, like two little keys, found their way onto the floor of the healing room, at the start of our learning journey for the day. They were a timely reminder of the two keys to understanding life -- the relationship we have with our self and the relationship we have with others. Astrologically, we are now moving through the closing days of Libra. Libra is the second 'air' sign of the zodiac, associated with communications, as is each sign operating in the air trinity. Libra's planetary ruler is Venus, the guardian of balance and harmony in life and the overseer of all relating and relationships. Relationships in life are often our biggest spiritual testing ground. The best way to find out who we truly are is to be 'in relationship' with another. Life is full of relationships and living life to the full is all about relating. And just when we think we are beginning to understand who we truly are, along comes our next 'teacher in disguise' to remind us of the distance we still need to travel in becoming true to our self and accepting who we are. I'm reminded of the play Hamlet and Polonius' fatherly advice to his departing Laertes, .... "but this above all, to thine own self be true". But "being true" can be a challenging task for many of us. For some, being true is too high a price to pay. "Better to be safe than sorry" we say. In relationship, some prefer to forfeit their right to be true, being swayed by an 'other', rather than to be true to themselves. Life is full of spiritual teachers and guides in disguise, though we may not always be able to recognise them as such, especially in the subtle ways they tend to make their entrances into our lives. The most effective teachers can often trigger those deep, deep feelings that we don't wish to see in our self -- irritation, coldness, phoneyness, loudness, annoyance and lack of acceptance. In relationship, we allow others to become our mirror, so that we can learn more about our own truth. No one, with whom we are in any kind of relationship ever needs to do anything to change the way they are. There isn't anyone in our life who isn't supposed to be there. The only way to accept every part of who we are, is to accept every 'other' in our life, without conditions. And when this begins to happen, something quite indescribable and magical starts to unfold right there in front of us.

Louis and Me (5)

Tempus fugit! Planting those wallflowers in the corner of the front garden will ensure a beautiful, scented display of reds and orange in the Spring rains. But back to here and now. Louis and I went for a late morning stroll under the sycamores this morning. He loves watching them shimmer and fall in the breeze. I notice a new species of humans on our walks, the 'people of the puschairs' - they're all over the place! I'm now getting into a good routine with him and taking a leaf out of his book i.e. each time I put him into his cot for a nap, I take one too. Doesn't a couch feel so comfortable when you're tired? I think he's beginning to get used to me. Lunch was a bit of a challenge today as each time I gave him a spoonful of food on his little spoon, he smiled very widely as it went in, so it was quite difficult trying to get the food to stay in his mouth. I'll need to have a rethink on this before lunchtime tomorrow!

New Beginnings - Louis and Me (Part 4)

48 special hours have just flown past! Where is the time going these days? Yesterday I began my new part time 'job', looking after Louis. I really liked the way this new venture got off to a great start with a New Moon (in Libra) yesterday. A New Moon is considered to be an auspicious time for new beginnings -----and the sign of Libra is all to do with communication in relationship, so what a wonderful time to be starting to spend two precious days a week with my beautiful 5 month old grandson. Yesterday I managed the breakfast, bottles, lunch, nappies, songs and stories fairly smoothly. Louis is really patient and forgiving, especially at meal times, if I miss his mouth with his new solid foods. We also had a walk out, late morning to watch the autumn leaves fall. The only thing was, he went off to sleep in his puschair after passing under the first tree, a huge horse chestnut dropping its finger-like green and yellow leaves. Louis is so observant. We counted the fallen conkers together, as I picked them up and he giggled from his puschair. Today, it was time for his second round of vaccinations. Not an easy time for a baby. He really let out a scream when the nurses gave him the jabs, but he soon recovered, full of smiles and chuckles as we left the surgery in the October sunlight. It was such a mild day today. He always seems to love feeling the breeze on his face.

Fire and Rain in The Season of Mellow Fruitfulness

A second amazing autumn weekend this year just came to a close. I'm blessed to have spent some sacred time in this big noisy city with its huge population, majestic buildings and so many trees. Blessed also for my reason for being here, that is, to be journeying with such a group of beautiful souls. The square I've been sitting in over lunchtimes during the past year, must be one of the noisiest squares on earth! - pigeons, orchestras & bands, sellers, fountains, buskers, dancers, traffic, colours, smells, flags in the wind, festivals, fire, water, protests and all these faces passing by - a carnival of celebration of a vibrant city life. Sitting on benches in the open air with kindred spirits - all that laughter, warm friendship, the sharing of philosophies and the challenging and acceptance of our ideas and questions, fresh air and food, coffee-to-go and miracles-to-come, the courage of being present, with ourselves and each other. Sometimes that search for a quiet space in the noisy, traffic filled places (we often find ourselves in), is a wonderful reminder that we still have a long way to travel before we find the kind of space we're looking for. A new journey begun many moons ago, to reach what I thought was my destination, (at that time), has been slowly transforming itself into the biggest and most beautiful stepping stone--------to somewhere much farther away than I had originally anticipated. I love long distance travelling, on both inner and outer journeys. These past few months I've been really listening carefully to the messages, coming to me in all sorts of ways as I journey onwards. I hear now. In daring myself to look, I now see everything I need to see, as here it is, right in front of me. The most sacred messages and signs have a lovely habit of arriving at just the right time in life don't you think? On saturday night I didn't sleep well, waking every few hours to the same song playing in my head, a song I've not heard for a long, long time. I wondered why? I promised myself that when I got back home, I'd listen to a recording of the song and use it for some inner work. It's called "Fire & Rain" by James Taylor, a very moving song, I think about loss. And having listened to it when I got home I remembered that its a song often played by a very special friend of mine, a friend I've not been in touch with for some time. Later in the day, when I contacted him, it was so wonderful to hear his voice again and as we talked, he laughed as I relayed my story of the song waking me up. When I rang him he was chopping wood for the fire! An abundance of signs and messages arrived so unexpectedly over the weekend, colouring and enriching the time and space of that special 48 hours. It's funny, I've been feeling these changes so much so recently on my journey----more so this weekend gone, than ever before. Autumn, the season of the Soul is here. And yesterday, for me, Her presence permeated the air. I wonder if others felt it too? Outside, those leaves falling in currents of sunny October air, ---------unstoppable they were, like tears that fell down faces over this special weekend. Leaves and tears just love to fall don't they? Special people. My fresh air walk and 'time out' time is spent in the middle of the city, around the corner from the hotel where we're working, sitting under shimmering, breeze filled trees of maple. Here I am, meditating on the scent of crushed leaves and the taste of certainty in the air. And what is happening, now, is how its meant to be. In this space, the little mists of the past few months rise. The veil has lifted and everything becomes so much clearer, so "full on" - yet so quiet and ever so light. A New Moon in Libra approaches this coming Thursday - a time for reflection and reorientation. Every thing in its own time. Autumn, like this silence today turns so very golden in the moment of being here now. More leaves are falling and the clock strikes, chiming the hour's end, as the cycle of the season turns and in time, completes itself so beautifully. A time of remembrance. Shadows and light. "To everything there is a season, a time for every purpose". On the surface of a red-golden-orange fallen leaf, a tiny seed of something settles onto the sacred earth. Into its presence, it will enter now.

Heavenly Scent

I didn't manage to sow and grow any of my favourite seeds/ plants this year, so I was really pleased to stumble across trayfuls of bundles of them sitting in the sunshine of a glorious autumn afternoon, in one of my favourite local garden centres.
When choosing Wallflower seeds I usually go for 'Blood Red', which on a cold misty Spring morning can really set empty flower beds alight! There are so many varieties now to choose from. Within the next couple of weeks I'll plant this afternoon's acquisitions in front of the house which, along with the bulbs going in now, will provide a heavenly scent and colourful display in the borders for March and April next year

Louis and Me (3)

What I really love every once in a while is being really present. Being really present is something very special that happens when you are completely absorbed in the moment, without any distractions. When you're really present, the moment and what is happening in that moment is completely real and sacred.
Late this afternoon I was with Louis. He is almost 5 months old now. I notice how observant he is and also I'm learning more and more about his responses --- to the voices and gestures of the people around him. He is really enjoying life and launching in to every experience! I think he's also cultivating discernment.
Today I was holding him on my knee and we were looking at one of his pop up books. He is so lively as we move through the pages together and as the next part of the Dinosaur story unfolds. I'm thinking "Is he really interested in the life of the Diplodocus or Tricerotops"?
Judging by his animated reactions and responses I'd say "yes"! He moves towards each page, head first, then hands, ready to eat as his little mouth opens to try a bite of the story.
Louis is always much more in 'the present' than I am.
This intention to 'be present' escapes me for the moment as I think back to the precious moments spent with Louis' Dad many moons ago, when I was in my early twenties, like the summer saturday we spent at the Dinosaur exhibition in York, I think when he was about five years old? And I can see him now, in his little red dinosaur t-shirt, putting his head through the narrow garden-park railings and laughing so loudly at my worried expression. Spending times like that with him was so precious. I wonder if he remembers any of those moments?
Twenty odd years on, I can't describe how it feels to be spending this time with Louis.
Just for today I count all my blessings.

Meditation for the Moment

"The character of a church, a business or a government can be seen in its attitude towards its detractors"
Notes on Love and Courage Hugh Prather

Nuns and Monks in Burma

Let's be mindful of the difficulties at the present time. Buddha said

"However many holy words you read, however many you speak
What good will they do if you do not act upon them?"